Today we are continuing the SABER flow by looking at the A in SABER.
ACKNOWLEDGE
You just learned about the importance of saying STOP out loud when you find yourself in a power struggle within your mind.
By saying STOP, you could bring awareness of this inner mind struggle forward to your conscious mind where you rationalize thinking.
Now that you have successfully paused the inner chatter, it’s time to acknowledge the thinking.
What are the thoughts that brought you into this struggle?
No judging here, we are simply acknowledging the thinking for what it truly is,
and most likely, the thoughts are not true.
By pausing and taking a step back to look at the thoughts, we can see them more clearly.
We are shining a light on them.
Begin by asking, “Is this true? Are my thoughts 100% what I think they are, or could there be something else that is true? What’s the meaning I’m placing ON the thoughts?”
By pausing, and shining a light on them, you will see the thinking more clearly.
Once you see it, you can’t unsee it.
Let’s jump back to my example from the blog/video one of the SABER, the S for STOP.
There I was, in front of the wine display at the grocery store, desiring the chardonnay. My mouth was watering at the thought of having the wine. I wanted it so badly!
After saying STOP out loud, I had a moment to pause and to acknowledge my thinking.
Here’s what that looked like:
I’m telling myself that I no longer drink and am confused by my reaction.
One thought is that I’m craving the wine, the other thought was how mad I was at the store for placing the wine in front of the seafood counter.
What were they thinking!
Hmmm, selling more wine, I suppose!
I had a strong desire to have a glass of wine, although I had had no alcohol in over 2 ½ years, and I was super mad at the store for “making me want it” by placing it in my path.
By acknowledging the thoughts, I could see clearly what was happening.
Was it a familiar pattern of my past, a former unconscious belief that when I have a bad day at work, and wine is the only way to help me cope with stress?
Yes, yes, it was.
Was the store trying to make me, Kari Schwear, mad by placing the wine display in front of the fish counter?
No, they were simply marketing their product and using strategic positioning to produce a sale.
I could see that my anger towards the store was not about their decision to erect a wine display
in a particular area of their floor plan, but the meaning I was giving it!
See the difference?
Now, it’s important at this stage of SABER we don’t judge the thoughts. We are simply acknowledging them. We aren’t deciding anything other than to determine if the thinking is true or not. Almost 100% of the time, the thoughts are untrue. It’s an initial auto response from our lower, unconscious brain.
Next, we will move to, what I believe, is the most essential step of this flow, the B in SABER – Breathe.
To read a detailed narrative of the SABER flow, download the free book chapter,
Living in the Gray – A Power Struggle Within.
